Sunday, October 18, 2009

Remembering Amber

I hope you read my previous post about my daughter, Amber who passed away on July 24 rather suddenly.

I knew God would not give me more than I can handle, but I did not know how I, my husband and Jennifer would make it through Amber’s visitation and funeral. So many people came to the visitation and stood in line 45 minutes to an hour just to let us know how much Amber meant to them. She had been such an inspiration to others. Amber never complained about what she couldn’t do, she always made the most of every day. The most touching thing about her was her big blue eyes and her big contagious smile. She touched many hearts in her nearly 30 years on this earth. So many people from high school she had not seen in years came to pay their respects and to let us know what a sweetheart and a trooper she had been all through school. Many of her classmates had seen Amber go from a normal active young girl to being confined to a wheelchair in a few short years.

The day before the funeral Jennifer, my sister and I went to buy Amber new clothes to wear to be buried in. She of course had a closet full but she had to have something new! Jennifer picked out a top just like she had worn several weeks prior which Amber had liked and of course the color was purple. Purple was Amber’s favorite color. We found the same top in Amber’s size and both my daughters had on the same top at visitation. We all wore purple (yes even my husky husband wore a purple shirt for Amber) for the visitation. When they were younger I had always sewn their clothes and most of the time they were dressed alike. They were so close in age many people thought they were twins. I thought this was so sweet of Jennifer to want to be dressed like her “big sister” one last time on this earth.

Jennifer had mentioned that she wanted to speak at Amber’s funeral. I thought to myself how could she do this? When her heart was hurting so much over our loss she wanted to speak? She is a very eloquent speaker and has a gift for speaking, but I did not know how she would make it through it. I was doing good to be there in the chapel much less get up and speak in front of everyone there. Jennifer got up after our pastor spoke and after she spoke there was not a dry eye in the chapel. She spoke of childhood memories and how sassy Amber could be at times. She spoke of what loving parents we had been and how God had called Amber home to his Kingdom to live with him until we all meet again. She spoke of how we would live for Amber and God would get us through this difficult time. I was so proud of her. She is an amazing young lady!

During high school Amber met an amazing young man her junior year of high school. They became instant friends. He has a sister that is deaf and he knew what living with a disability was like. He was the best “guy friend” Amber ever knew besides her Daddy. Her friend knows sign language and he signed the song “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me. It was so beautiful and touching! He speaks so eloquently with his hands! I know it was very difficult for him to stand there and sign the song but he did it to honor Amber and her precious life. After Jennifer spoke and Amber’s friend signing the song everyone was touched that these two young people that loved Amber so much and were hurting so much inside had the courage to get up and do what they had done. It was God giving them the strength to do what they thought they should do for Amber. Jennifer said she felt a calm come over and it was if God was there by her, comforting her.

It has been a very difficult 12 weeks since Amber went to Heaven. My husband and I are taking one day at a time and know that God is good. We are lonely in this house and often do not know what to do with ourselves. Jennifer lives about an hour away and recently became engaged which has helped with our grief. We all have good days and bad days as everyone does but I will always have my faith and no one can take that away from me.

Thank you for reading Amber’s story and maybe she has touched your hearts!

I would love to hear your comments.


By the way, Jennifer has started a blog -  it is listed in my sidebar.


Linda@Coastal Charm said...

Donna-I know this must have been really hard for you to write this post...Jennifer and Amber sound like wonderful young ladies. I can't imagine what you must be going through at this time in your life...please know that I will be praying for you and your family. I have two daughters...22 and your story has really hit home with me. Reading about how Jennifer spoke at her sister's funeral was so touching...I know you and your husband are very proud of her...she must me one very strong and faithful young lady. I know you heart is hurting every day...please know that people you have never met (like me) will be praying for you daily. Thanks for sharing this story about your amazing daughters.


Karen said...

Thank you for telling us the story of your beautiful daughter Amber. Please know that I am praying for you and your family. Words can not begin to express my sympathy.

I have been blogging for several months and have found it enjoyable and a wonderful way to make new friends online. I will become a follower of your beautiful blog.

Mary @ Neat and Tidy said...

I just found your blog, and my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine your pain; my daughters are healthy and well. I have lost a parent, and it is a pain no one understands until they experience it.

I am thankful that you know of eternity with our Savior! You will see her one day, and she will be whole and complete.

I will be praying for your strength and sound mind. Please keep us posted.

Lori from British Columbia, Canada said...

Donna, thanks so much for a lovely post ... again. In this world of 'fluff and stuff', your posts are very solid and real. You are touching and changing lives by sharing Amber's beautiful story.

Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality said...

Donna, what a sweet story of Amber and what she meant to your family. I'm SO sorry about your loss and words cannot express how much we all feel for you during this time. I have no idea exactly what you are going through, but I do know that the Lord heals all pain and wounds. You will never get over losing her, but I do believe He does things for a purpose and may you find that out one day. I'll be praying for you & your family for peace. I know you have strong faith and that will get you through.

Thanks for sharing Amber's story. Look forward to seeing you Nov. 10th. :)

Marsha's Mpressions said...

Donna, I am so sorry to read of your loss. I can tell from your posts how close your family is and how much you and Amber enjoyed one another. I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but I hope you can get some comfort from writing about Amber, her life and what a joy her memories are to you. God bless you and your family.

susan said...

Donna-Thank you for stopping by so I could come over and "meet" you. I was so touched by Amber's story and your family's faith. As a mother of 3 young adults, I can only imagine your heartache. I do know that God does provide a way for us if we allow Him. I think you will enjoy blogging. I have met the nicest people. I look forward to visiting again and will say a special prayer for you tonight.

Charlene said...

I just went down & read a bit more of your Blog after my visit for Outdoor Wednesday. I am soooooooooooooo very sorry for your loss of Amber! But, you were all so very blessed to have each other for the time you did. These things are so hard to understand. But, all of us need to remember that we are not promised forever & there is never a good time to loose someone we love. Yesterday is gone, tommorrow isn't here & is not promised... Live today to it's fullest for it is a GIFT! God Bless you as you heal.

Pat said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. I am planning to start a blog and just happened upon yours today. Of course, there are no accidents! We know not of God's plan but I do know that He will never let you down...just lean on Him and allow that love to heal your hearts. I do believe that Amber is whole and healthy now and prolly being a sassy young lady in Heaven! I feel sure that my mother is on the welcoming committee there.

Thank you for sharing your heart and Amber's story. Jennifer is an amazing young lady! I will hold each of you in prayer.

Brightest blessings ~

Susan Ramey Cleveland said...

Thinking of you and praying for you, Donna. I think you should go to the quilting retreat at Magnolia. I'll bet Amber would say the same thing. God bless you and your family.