Our first Christmas without Amber. This has been the most difficult holiday season in my life. I have had many trials in my 50 years on this earth. My mother passed away a few days before I gave birth to Jennifer 28 years ago. My dad passed away the day after Christmas last year. Amber was diagnosed at the age of 10 with a rare form of muscular dystrophy. Having to purchase and let Amber decide on the color of a wheelchair knowing she would be confined to it the rest of her life. My husband being unemployed for about 2 years and we oftened wondered how we would pay the bills and pay health insurance. Jennifer was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 2000 during her first year of college and was very ill. My family endured my own health crisis in 2001 after complications from surgery, developing ARDS and spending 3 weeks on a ventilator in ICU wondering if I would live.
I believe the good Lord let me live to care for Amber because He knew she needed me.
But this has been the most trying time of my life. I have spent many hours crying over the loss of Amber. I miss her so much. I do know one thing she is looking down on me as I write this. She is spending her First Christmas in Heaven.
My girls - Christmas 2007
Amber has on her "Believe" tee shirt with a snow angel! How appropriate for such a sweet girl!
As I mentioned in a previous post I did not know whether I would decorate for Christmas this year. Jennifer reminded me of how much Amber loved for me to decorate for Christmas each year and she would be disappointed if I did not even put up a tree. So I pulled the decorations out of the basement.
I wanted to make a heavenly scene near our front door for Amber. I found a poem "First Christmas in Heaven" at a craft show and gathered some of Amber's favorite things. She purchased the little snow houses with the snowmen last year and I added some gold sheer fabric with white lights.
The picture is of her dressed for her senior prom in high school. The poem is framed and in the middle for everyone to read.
And the Reason for the Season nativity scene under my cloche with an "A" ornament I placed in front with angel wings on each side.
I placed an angel, a feather tree and her baby shoes in her wheelchair along with a special Precious Moments throw she gave me many years ago. I can't part with the wheelchair just yet. I can still smell her on it.
I also put her tree in her bedroom as she would have wanted.. It is decorated with snow angels, stars and snowflakes. I light her Yankee Candle every night. She always had a candle burning in her bedroom.
I want to thank Becky from http://sweetcottagedreams.blogspot.com/.
She sent me this beautiful card along with the Faith ornament below. Her precious son Jordan also went to Heaven this year. Oh how they must be celebrating! Can you imagine spending Christmas with our Lord and Saviour!
That has to be a wonderful party :)
I have the faith ornament on my tree. I will always remember it's special meaning. Thank you Becky. I know your pain along with other bloggers who have lost children this year.
If you haven't told your loved ones today you love them - take a minute and let them know they are loved. Just 3 simple words - "I Love You".
Have a Merry Christmas!
Blessings and Hugs,