Friday, January 1, 2010

2009 and the New Year

2009 was the most difficult year of my life.  I had many blessings throughout the year and then the loss of my oldest daughter Amber.  July 24, 2009 and the days following were the most difficult days of my life.  We knew after Amber was diagnosed that she would never live to grow old ... but we never dreamed this time last year she would not be here with us this year.  She seemed to be healthy and so full of life despite her muscular dystrophy. I always prayed for a miracle that she would be healed.  It never happened.  I do know she is in Heaven walking again and that gives me comfort and I do know that we will see each other again.

We began 2009 completing a new addition to our home for Amber.  She needed a larger bedroom and a roll-in shower.  She had decorated her new bedroom and bath with the paint colors she had chosen.  Her closet is so organized and labeled the way she had me organize it with everything labeled.  Her closet is full of unread books that I will read one day.  We made a major purchase for a roll-in shower chair for Amber. It made life much easier for me and her.  She enjoyed it for 7 months before she passed away.  It now sits in her new shower unused.  My heart is broken.  I will never be the same person I was before her passing.  But life goes on...

My youngest daugher, Jennifer had met her "prince charming" as she calls him last year about this time.  I think God sent Jeremy into her life at the right time.  God knew Jennifer would need Jeremy to get through the difficult months that were to come.  Jeremy asked Jennifer to marry him on August 16, 2009.  I was told later that he had purchased the ring before Amber went to Heaven and was going to ask Jennifer to marry him on July 25 the day after she passed away. We had planned a family get-together at my sister's lakehouse that Saturday and Jeremy was going to ask my husband if he could marry Jennifer.  It did not happen the way it was planned.  Instead we were planning a funeral.  My family gathered together but not the way we had expected.

So now we are planning the BIG event Jennifer has waited years for!   The wedding will be in June.  All of the major details are planned ....the church and reception booked, the DRESS ordered and the bridemaids dresses picked out (Amber's favorite color - purple).  Jennifer still has so many little details to think about and it is fun and sometimes stressful to plan a wedding!  I am letting her make all the decisions.  If she asks for my opinion, I am glad to give it but the day is all about her!  We are very excited about the upcoming wedding and adding a son to our family.  We know Amber will be attending the wedding in spirit and watching down on Jennifer as she and her daddy walk down the aisle.  Amber is Jennifer's "honorary bridesmaid" and there will be a special candle lit for Amber during the ceremony. 

We all have difficult times in our lives whether it is the loss of a job, illness or the loss of a loved one but life goes on....

I hope 2010 brings you all good health and happiness!

God Bless,


Jen in NY said...

I am so glad that you have Jennifer's wedding to look forward to. You have been through way too much and this will surely help. I think you have the best possible outlook you could have...looking ahead despite the incredible pain of losing Amber. She is most certainly very proud of her brave, strong mother.

Stacey said...

Donna I'm glad you have something happy to look forward to. I can't imagine what it's like to be in your shoes but maybe it will get a little easier with time. It's good that you have the new hobby of blogging. It's a great way to reach out to people at times when you may not really want to go out.

Jennifer said...

Mommy, Amber is not an "honorary bridesmaid"! She is my maid of honor. The only maid of honor I could ever wish for!! Love you mommy! We will keep on moving together.