Friday, July 23, 2010

Amber

 My sweet girl ... oh how we all miss you!  I can't believe it has been a year since you went to Heaven.... seems maybe a month ago but not a year.  As I type this post I know this has been the hardest year of my entire life.  I never knew my heart could be so broken and ache as much as it does right now and has for 12 months.  I thought after a year things would get easier without you here with us but I know life will never be the same without you.  I have shed soo many tears this past year.
I have replayed the last week of your life over and over again in my mind.  You were so happy!  We went to Bass Pro shop looking for you a pink camouflage tee shirt and then to eat dinner on Saturday night, rode your Polaris Ranger  around the pasture to check the gametrail cameras for deer that you had named.
Daddy found you the tee shirt you wanted and you were planning to wear it on Saturday to your Aunt and Uncle's lake house with our entire family there. You had your outfit picked out for the day!
But then suddenly you became ill on Thursday night last July and we rushed you to the ER.  Everything was going great on Friday ... you were talking to me one minute wanting to know when you could go home and the next thing I knew you had issues with your heart and then your lungs.  Your body was just tired from the Friedreich's Ataxia.  Later that evening you went to Heaven at 11:19 p.m.  surrounded by all your family and extended family.  I am so glad I got to hold you in my arms as you left this world just like when you were born nearly 30 years earlier ... in my arms.
If I could just wash your hair one more time and brush it for hours I would!  Oh how I miss you being in your room with your Yankee Candles burning, reading a book (usually a Karen Kingsbury book), watching the Braves play baseball and sitting at the computer on Facebook farming your farm and socializing!  The book you were reading is still laying bookmarked on the last page you read on the table in your bedroom.   Our cats miss you too!

I am so glad baby girl you were born to us!  You were the light of our lives when you were born.  Just a baby doll and those big blue eyes and long dark hair!  You were always sassy and so funny!  We thanked God when you were born that you were healthy! Everything was normal until you were 8 years old and I noticed things only a mother would know.  You began to fall and lose your balance.
 Your Dad and I never knew we carried the gene that would result in this awful disease. We were devastated when you were diagnosed at the age of 10 with FA.  Over the years we dealt with what came our way ... several surgeries and always doctor appointments.  Purchasing a wheelchair for you was very hard but we knew the time had come ... as hard as it was.
You always did well in school with kids that had known you all your life.  They loved helping you with your books and pushing you from one class to another.  You were elected "Most Likely to be Remembered" your Senior year in high school.  Everyone loved you!  You loved to go to school to socialize!!  You seemed to get in trouble for talking all the time!  You always had a smile on your face.  Many special awards were given to you for your courage and strength.
We were so proud of you when you went on to college for 2 years.  You would have been a great accountant!  A whiz with numbers!  You knew as well as we did that things were getting worse ... but we took one day at a time and lived each day to its fullest.  We thought we had another 10 years with you at least.  But God wanted you more.  We know you are in Heaven watching down on us and we will all be reunited again one day.  My faith is what gets me through rough days when days seem to be unbearable without you!  I wake up praying that God will get me through another day without you.  I can only take one day at a time as I have since you went to Heaven.

Your Daddy, Jennifer and I miss you so much and you will be forever in our hearts .... sweet Amber :)
I do know we will be reunited in Heaven one day!

You were born with a head of dark hair!

Huge blue eyes!
Your second Christmas!  Love that smile!
First Birthday!
Multi-tasking ... playing the piano and sewing!
Loving your new baby sister Jennifer!
Sassy as always!
Precious babies at Easter.
You loved the Atlanta Braves and got to meet your favorite player Chipper Jones!  You were so happy!
Senior Prom pic...
You and Will your best friend.

Sweet sisters... you always called Jennifer "Squirt"!



May 2009  ... Karen Kingsbury, your favorite Christian fiction author at the EWomen's Conference in Birmingham. 

You loved the color purple and wore it so much!

Goofing off with Jennifer wearing a crown ... you and Jennifer are our  princesses!
Princess Amber we will see each other again one day and I can't wait to see you walking again!  Love you Baby!
xoxo
Mommy

I will be away from the computer this weekend spending time with my family.  Thank you for visiting and God Bless!
Donna

18 comments:

debbie said...

DEAR DONNA,
MAY YOU FEEL THE WARMTH OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER AND FEEL AMBER IN A 1,000 DIFFERENT WAYS THIS WEEK END.
I AM HUGGING YOU AND LIFTING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY UP TO THE THRONE ROOM OF GOD'S MERCY AND GRACE.
AMBER IS A BEAUTIFUL GIRL. I LOVED SEEING ALL HER PICTURES. I LOVE HER SENIOR PROM PICTURE AND THE ONE OF HER IN THE PRINCESS CROWN.
WHAT A TIME SHE IS HAVING IN HEAVEN AND THAT IS WHAT GETS US THROUGH TO THE NEXT DAY.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING AMBER WITH US.
LOVE AND HUGS
SIMPLY DEBBIE

from my front porch... said...

Donna,
Right after Amber went to Heaven, you and I became friends! I have come to know your sweet heart, therefore I know Amber's heart, too. So much like her mother!!!

Amber is as much of a part of this blog as you are :)

Nothing anyone can say will ever make *it* better. I will not try.

What I do know for sure, is that Amber was one lucky girl.

You will always be a Mama of two daughters...

Much love and God Bless to your entire family.
xo, misha

Linda@Coastal Charm said...

Donna,
What a beautiful post about Amber...I was outside watering my flowers yesterday and thought of you and praying that you were doing okay. Take care and God Bless you and your family.

Blessings,
Linda

Cindy said...

Donna..as a mother my heart is heavy for you...what a loss of life....yet what a blessing for you and your family. I can read of your love..your sorrow...your memories..and your promise from our Heavenly Father. I too claim that promise for loved ones that have known Him and have gone ahead!!What a peacefulness in my heavy heart...when I think and claim that promise from God!!

For you sweet Donna...may God hold you and your family this weekend..comfort you and show His Love to you!! Thank you for sharing Amber with us here in blogland. Of course we will know her when we see her in Heaven!!!!As I believe we will all know each other!!God's Children.

Hugs and Christian Sister Squeezes..Cindy from Rick-Rack and Gingham

Cindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cindy said...

I meant to say what a blessing she was to you.
Cindy

Marilyn said...

Thank you for sharing your memories of Amber. Think of you and asking God to bless you with peace in your heart. ♥♫

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

Goodness - my heart is full as I read this -- I know that I cannot know your pain -- but I can understand your love -- taken so fast and unexpectedly -- I'm so sorry -- My eyes are filled as well. Praying for peace and knowing that the pain of this anniversary must be overwhelming. Her life was certainly short, but her days were blessed by love of family.

Tales From My Empty Nest said...

Donna, my heart goes out to you this weekend. You will certainly be in my thoughts and prayers. As a Mother, I can only begin to imagine what you are going through. My best friend lost her son 5 years ago and I have certainly suffered with her through this time of grieving. We can all rejoice that we will see our loved ones in heaven again some day, but that still does not make things OK here on earth. Our earthly heart longs for our loved ones. What a precious daughter Amber was and what wonderful memories you have of her. Keep those sweet memories tucked inside your heart! I will be thinking of you this weekend. Love & blessings from NC!

Jen in NY said...

Donna, what a lovely post about Amber. It's obvious how much she blessed your lives. I know with you as a mother she must have been a wonderful person. I loved seeing the pictures of her as a child and growing up. Thinking of you and your family during this very difficult time of year. {{hugs}}

Miriam said...

Thinking of you and your family today, Donna.
Thank you for sharing stories of Amber's life and all those beautiful photographs of Amber. ((hugs))

Bernie said...

Oh Donna, I am fighting tears of sadness and I don't know why, we both know our children are in heaven......I loved your tribute to Amber, she was such a beautiful baby and grew even more beautiful each day. You hace 30 wonderful years with her, what a blessing. She was so blessed to be born into such a loving family.
I know your Faith will get you through these sad days and I know as a family you will love and support each other, I am keeping you all in my heart and prayers......sending big hugs from Canada.......

Jan said...

What a beautiful post Donna ... a beautiful post about a beautiful Daughter ... she was absolutely gorgeous and my heart aches for you and your family during these difficult days. That one year anniversary is so very hard and I will pray that God guides you through as only He can. Many hugs to you!!!!

Kat said...

What a beautifully written tribute to your special angel!

Thinking of you.

Hugs,
Kat

Sweet Bee Cottage said...

Dear Donna,

You always make Amber so real for me when you write about her. What a special girl she was. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
Janelle

Kaye - SandwichINK for the Sandwich Generation said...

I came for the rooster party and was blessed to read this as well. What a lovely testimony of God's grace and provision under pressure - both in her and in you! How glorious to know she is safe in heaven with your beloveds and mine and that her life is still having a wonderful "ripple effect" of the testimony of her love for God through your writing. You are in my prayers.
Kaye

Trace4J said...

May you continually find comfort in your treasured memories with your daughter. Sending you a giant hug from Pa.
Love,
Tracey In Paradise,Pa.

April said...

Donna, I love this post so much, reading about Amber and seeing her pictures. She was such a happy girl, she seemed so sweet and so smart. You are a wonderful Mom with two beautiful girls.