My sweet girl ... oh how we all miss you! I can't believe it has been a year since you went to Heaven.... seems maybe a month ago but not a year. As I type this post I know this has been the hardest year of my entire life. I never knew my heart could be so broken and ache as much as it does right now and has for 12 months. I thought after a year things would get easier without you here with us but I know life will never be the same without you. I have shed soo many tears this past year.
I have replayed the last week of your life over and over again in my mind. You were so happy! We went to Bass Pro shop looking for you a pink camouflage tee shirt and then to eat dinner on Saturday night, rode your Polaris Ranger around the pasture to check the gametrail cameras for deer that you had named.
Daddy found you the tee shirt you wanted and you were planning to wear it on Saturday to your Aunt and Uncle's lake house with our entire family there. You had your outfit picked out for the day!
But then suddenly you became ill on Thursday night last July and we rushed you to the ER. Everything was going great on Friday ... you were talking to me one minute wanting to know when you could go home and the next thing I knew you had issues with your heart and then your lungs. Your body was just tired from the Friedreich's Ataxia. Later that evening you went to Heaven at 11:19 p.m. surrounded by all your family and extended family. I am so glad I got to hold you in my arms as you left this world just like when you were born nearly 30 years earlier ... in my arms.
If I could just wash your hair one more time and brush it for hours I would! Oh how I miss you being in your room with your Yankee Candles burning, reading a book (usually a Karen Kingsbury book), watching the Braves play baseball and sitting at the computer on Facebook farming your farm and socializing! The book you were reading is still laying bookmarked on the last page you read on the table in your bedroom. Our cats miss you too!
I am so glad baby girl you were born to us! You were the light of our lives when you were born. Just a baby doll and those big blue eyes and long dark hair! You were always sassy and so funny! We thanked God when you were born that you were healthy! Everything was normal until you were 8 years old and I noticed things only a mother would know. You began to fall and lose your balance.
Your Dad and I never knew we carried the gene that would result in this awful disease. We were devastated when you were diagnosed at the age of 10 with FA. Over the years we dealt with what came our way ... several surgeries and always doctor appointments. Purchasing a wheelchair for you was very hard but we knew the time had come ... as hard as it was.
You always did well in school with kids that had known you all your life. They loved helping you with your books and pushing you from one class to another. You were elected "Most Likely to be Remembered" your Senior year in high school. Everyone loved you! You loved to go to school to socialize!! You seemed to get in trouble for talking all the time! You always had a smile on your face. Many special awards were given to you for your courage and strength.
We were so proud of you when you went on to college for 2 years. You would have been a great accountant! A whiz with numbers! You knew as well as we did that things were getting worse ... but we took one day at a time and lived each day to its fullest. We thought we had another 10 years with you at least. But God wanted you more. We know you are in Heaven watching down on us and we will all be reunited again one day. My faith is what gets me through rough days when days seem to be unbearable without you! I wake up praying that God will get me through another day without you. I can only take one day at a time as I have since you went to Heaven.
Your Daddy, Jennifer and I miss you so much and you will be forever in our hearts .... sweet Amber :)
I do know we will be reunited in Heaven one day!
You were born with a head of dark hair!
May 2009 ... Karen Kingsbury, your favorite Christian fiction author at the EWomen's Conference in Birmingham.