Anyone who has lost a child can relate to how I feel. I sometimes wonder what to do with myself most days. I feel like I went from a full nest to an empty one in just a matter of hours. Amber's passing was just so sudden and I still can't believe sometimes she is gone to Heaven.
Jennifer had gone away to college when she was 17 and had been on her own for years. It was a huge adjustment at the time but I knew she was an hour away and I could talk to her everyday or go help her study if she wanted me to.
To be honest ...it is lonely around my house!
Everyone says it will get better with time ... but I wonder sometimes if it ever will get better. I miss having giggles around my house!
For instance, my husband and I made a trip to Nashville this weekend to the Grand Ole Opry. We have been many times in the past but this time it was different.
We went for the first time without Amber. It was so strange for me and my husband without her. We were so accustomed to sitting in handicapped accessible seats for her wheelchair. I looked around while we were waiting for the show to begin and looked at people sitting where we once sat so many times in the past. Amber was a huge fan of country music. We enjoyed the show and it was another step in adjusting to our changed lives.
My only New Year's resolution was to get organized. I have been trying to organize and clean our basement. Everything downstairs reminds me of Amber. I came across one of her many drawings yesterday that was from 1992 and she had written Happy Easter! I thought to myself how timely with Easter a month or so away and I find this adorable drawing of an Easter bunny :) Of course I have it safely put away now. It brought a smile to my face!
And talk about organization ... Amber was so organized! I found four brown envelopes of her school papers from high school or college. She had saved her work and had it organized by subject! She got her organizational skills from her Daddy ... not me!
So tomorrow I go down to the basement and sort through Amber's things and Jennifer's. I wonder what treasures I will find tomorrow in my empty nest...
Just give your loved ones another hug and tell them "I love you" every time you can :)